#11: Stick or quit?
The pitfalls of perseverance, the quandary of quitting, and the importance of adaptability.
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The perseverance versus quit dilemma is real. Be it in regards to a project, job, or lifelong dream. When things get challenging we reach a fork in the road where we must make an active choice. We often feel the things we spend our time doing are part of our identity, but the decisions we make about what we do are just as defining.
Understanding the nuances and drivers in the decision-making process - including pitfalls and benefits - can help us to make more confident choices. So that rather than blindly pushing forward down that career path or impatiently throwing the towel in on that new project, we feel better equipped to make an eyes-wide-open judgement call of when to stick and when to fold.
Stay perseverant, or maybe don’t...
Milly and Yumi
The pitfalls of perseverance
Hands up if as a child you were made to carry on an extracurricular activity you really weren’t ~vibing~ with anymore (cue flashbacks to tantrums in tutus/meltdowns in sports kits). Or told that you have to finish your homework… or your dinner for that matter. These were perhaps some of our first lessons in the importance of perseverance. Research cited in the much-acclaimed Grit by Angela Duckworth suggests that perseverance is an important trait to develop in kids, especially with regards to setting them up to excel in their adult life.
Yet in some ways, when it comes to the working world, the idea of perseverance is a contradiction and a quandary. While many of us grew up with the narrative that we can be anything we want, so long as we stick at it, the ever-accelerating pace of change renders the idea of doing the same thing for 30 years laughable. The traditional career ladder that previous generations dutifully climbed up, is being broken down by impatient and jaded millennials - kindling for boomer bonfires.
Of course concepts such as Grit and the 10,000 hour rule caveat that perseverance alone isn’t enough. Passion, deliberate practice, and natural aptitude, for example, are all important factors. While another argument for perseverance is one of odds - that the longer you’re in the game the more likely you are to hit a ‘lucky’ streak. But this sounds awfully like insisting on just one more go on the slot machine because it could be the next pull of the handle that wins. Dangerous in the pub, dangerous in the field of personal decision making.
So the jury is still out on perseverance, then what about quitting?
The sordid lives of serial quitters
The serial quitter is also a perilous person. Also known by another name - the serial starter. Two sides of the same coin if you will, since quitters need to at least start things to be able to quit them. Starting a new job or a new project gives us a rush - a pure serotonin-fuelled honeymoon of social media posts, Linkedin bio updates, and the over-use of the phrase ‘delighted to announce’. And then it all goes a bit quiet, and the everyday grind begins. This is a concept expertly explained by Seth Godin as The Dip.
We’ve all been in that dip and it’s not much fun. In fact, it can feel like wading through treacle. The initial adrenaline has worn off, but the imagined vision of success is a long way off. The serial quitter is the type of person who routinely ditches the discomfort of the dip in favour of new shiny things.
Starting anew is no bad thing, especially when you give yourself the permission to quit, it can take the pressure off and actually increase your ability to be curious. Try, test, learn. But serial quitters will never be satisfied, so perhaps they should indeed take a leaf out of Angela Duckworth’s Grit. When it comes to considering moving on from a longer-term commitment, however, the question of quitting is much more difficult.
The reframe
Adaptability is the name of the game here. While if we never pushed through the icky tough bits of work, we’d never get anywhere new, equally we should adopt an approach of agility. Responding to new information, new circumstances, new feelings are all totally valid. As a guide from Psyche explains, ‘Learning to be flexible, how to pivot and find new purpose, is a skillset that’s just as desirable as having ‘grit’ or determination.’
Quitting might not be sexy, cool, or make it into the bios of successful people, but everyone is a quitter, and maybe we should try it more often.
Learn more
The power of motivation by Daniel Pink reminds us of what we all seem to intuitively know - intrinsic motivation is the most powerful force for getting things done. Perseverance means little without it.
When to Stick with Something — and When to Quit by André Spicer shows us that persevering no matter what is not as noble as it sounds. Sometimes leaving something behind gives room to explore better alternatives.
How to Be Everything: A Guide for Those Who (Still) Don't Know What They Want to Be When They Grow Up by Emilie Wapnick tells us about the virtues of pursuing many things at once. Maybe you don’t need to quit anything after all?
For persevering
Humu
Software for the team
Persisting only makes sense if you know where you’re heading. Humu, founded by the former Head of People at Google, Laszlo Bock, helps companies to turn goals into personalised step-by-step support to the entire workforce, providing clear direction and behavioural nudges to better work cultures.Atomic Habits by James Clear
A book
Whether you are a team working towards a goal, or an individual trying to reduce stress, this book (apparently one of the highest-rated books on Amazon) will give practical advice on how to form good habits. This is probably as close as it gets to becoming good at something overnight.Habit
An app
If you go down the habit formation route, this app could be a great companion. Such apps are in abundance but there’s something about their user interface that actually makes you want to come back.
For moving on
Emotional agility quiz by Susan David
5-minute quiz
When life gives you lemons, what’s your response? The answer is most likely related to your emotional agility or in more human terms, how effective you are with your thoughts and emotions. The quiz, created by a leading researcher in the field, gives insights on your agility (via a personalised report no less) and what you can do to improve it.Out of Hours
4-week programme and community
Out of Hours is here to help people start and grow their side projects. Their Launchpad programme provides the key ingredients to get any project off the ground - weekly workshops, community discussions, and feedback. The next cohort starts 31st of March 2021.Quitter
A Mac app
This is probably not the quitting you had in mind but we’re sure everyone can benefit from it. Quitter automatically closes or hides your apps after a period of inactivity, minimising your risk of getting enticed by yet another Twitter feud.Cloverpop
Slack plug-in
Whether you persevere or move on, this tool will allow you to make and track your decision as a team. Goodbye to endless scrolls through channel threads. Hello to faster decisions.
For some cultural inspiration
Abstract: the Art of Design Series
45-minute episode on Netflix
To see the joys of trying something new in practice, go no further. This series introduces us to some of the most innovative designers across different fields, of whom Neri Oxman is one of the most memorable. Her journey from the Israeli army to medical school, architecture, and then MIT, is that much-needed inspiration to venture outside your comfort zone.
For more resources, check out our Library.
And for a different perspective
Thanks for reading! As always, let us know if you have any thoughts or leave a comment via the button below.
Love this. Reminds me of the time I quit The Big Career Thing, which was extremely scary but liberating. Quitting is hard for overachievers, sunken cost fallacy is strong and hindsight is 20/20. Also, being able to quit is a privilege - I know quite a few fellow immigrants stuck at toxic workplaces because their residency depended on a valid work visa.
Loved this!